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Currently working for college credit from an acclaimed university and recovering from:

  • Burned tongue

  • Plane crash (multiple)

  • Bolted skull

  • Facial contusions

  • Bilateral groin pull

  • Split stapled lips

  • Hot Pocket chest burns

  • Swallowed by whale

  • Mouth infection

  • MRSA infection

  • Complete loss of emotion

  • Burned crotchal area

  • Smashed by black bear

  • Magazine ink poisoning

  • Falling out of 2nd story window

  • The Zombie Train to Bhutan

  • Scabies

  • Splinters

  • Hysterical Blindness

  • Becoming a 14 year old Chihuahua

  • Salmonella of the eye

  • Velcro Face

Get well soon!



Symphorien Francis "Boopsie" Benoit

Is a Grammy, Tony, and Emmy Award winning composer and jazz musician. Born in the French Quarter of New Orleans, his formative years were spent at a piano in the attic of his parents brothel, where he was taught the principals of jazz by a blind prostitute named Hush Puppy. He currently moonlights as the Sidebar Quartet's band leader, owns a popular jazz club on Bourbon Street, and is working on regaining his hearing after listening to the collected works of Coldplay.